Spice of Life w/ Suga: Cheating

The title says it all! Now this is an article that probably should’ve been written months ago but it’s such a huge subject that I decided to wait. But lately, I’ve heard about so many people getting cheated on that it seems that now is the time to talk about it. This is all my opinion about it and what I’ve learned from others. Feel free to agree or disagree!

Now a lot of people have different definitions of what is considered cheating. I’ve heard some say that it’s having sex. Others have said it’s forming an emotional connection with anyone besides who you’re in a relationship with. My personal belief is that cheating is any interaction you’re having that you wouldn’t do if your significant other was sitting right there. I also believe it’s whatever your partner believes to be cheating. Some people don’t mind flirting; others look at that as already crossing the line. So I think it’s a good idea to ask your partner what they consider doing too much.

Most people believe that everyone has cheated at some point in their life. I can’t say if I agree with that or not. I can say for myself that I have. Now in my defense, I have an excuse. (Doesn’t everyone!) In my defense, I wasn’t wrong. One thing I tell every guy I have a relationship to never let me get lonely. If you’re lonely in a relationship what is the point. We saw each other so sporadically that I couldn’t get in touch with him to break it off. I always called him when I was in the mood or getting intoxicated and I knew I needed loving. He didn’t come get it and I still needed what I needed. So there, that’s my defense. I always called him first! Even 10 years later you will never convince me that I was wrong for how I went about things. I tried to be right, honest! I was younger then and didn’t care as much then as I would now. And he probably was doing the same thing but whatever. I can also say that I’ve been cheated on. I actually caught the guy. I wasn’t angry. It was actually quite hilarious! I walked in on it and all I could tell him how stupid he was to give me a key if he was going to be fucking other chicks. Guys are never as clever with cheating as women are but I’ll get to that later.

There are more people who say that cheating is something they’ve dealt with since they’ve been in relationships. Some have been cheated on in every relationship they’ve been in. That’s really sad and I would hate to find that out. Being cheated on now would hurt me now in ways I couldn’t even imagine. I really think the love you have for someone determines how hurt you are to find out that they’re cheating or have cheated.

I do think men and women cheat for different reasons, most of the time. I think women cheat for emotional reasons. We sometimes don’t get the emotional affection we need from our man and wind up getting it from elsewhere. Men though have a completely different reason. They do it just because. Seriously! I’m not giving an excuse for men but I really think they do it because they can. I feel that their goal is to get as much as they can before they die. I won’t say get married because that hasn’t stopped most men I know. That just makes it harder to sneak away from the wife. I think that gives them a bit of challenge though. And women are confused by the fact that her man may cheat with a woman that isn’t as attractive as she is. I’ve talked to men and why he cheated with an uglier woman has nothing the do with cheating “down.” Men like different. She could look like a monster but the way she has sex is different than you. Women are all different and that’s it. They like the variety of women. That’s why sometimes you will see the same man and every woman he’s with is different from the last one: VARIETY. I think men just want it all. You could be doing everything right and a man will still cheat. We will never get it but that’s just the way it is.

I always wonder since men to cheat more often than women why are they so terrible at it. Men are more likely to get caught than a woman is. I find that laughable. I think after a man cheats for so long he starts to get real sloppy with it.  And I think that’s usually when women find out. We notice the smallest things like a change in behavior. Men will have a woman who is holding them down in every way and will still cheat. I think that’s what’s confusing to most women.

All in all, I have never seen someone cheat and things turn out well. You’re hurting someone and it’s truly a selfish act. People jeopardize entire families for a romp in the sack. I just don’t get it. People cheat for different reasons and some you won’t convince they were wrong but whether you think you are or not, you can’t tell me it doesn’t cause a problem at some point. If you’re going to cheat that’s all on you but at least think about the consequences and don’t assume your partner will never find out.

 

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